The Burnout Collective

The Jeff Bezos of crickets

The Burnout Collective Season 2 Episode 7

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 24:43

We’re still over here trying to keep up with the Joneses. In Part 2 of Money & Debt, we talk about how our cycles of extreme frugality followed by “rebellious overspending” is exactly like dieting. (And we now know the perfect descriptor for both of us!)

We discuss how having so little growing up and being made fun of for it can fuel our overspending—even as adults. We also cover the mental and physical effects of financial stress and how it feeds our lack of self-compassion.

In this episode:

Have a suggestion for our next episode? A burnout story to share? Send us a text!

Support the show

The Burnout Collective Podcast is hosted by Jamie Young and Rebecca McCracken. 

New episodes every other Tuesday anywhere you get your podcasts!
 
Join our Discord community: discord.gg/ZwBjbmVfAF
Follow us on our socials: linktr.ee/burnoutcollective

Music track: Snap Your Fingers by Aylex 
Source: https://freetouse.com/music

Jamie

Don't you remember at SLH you edited my story? Do you remember that? I did the shopping band.

Rebecca

yes, I know Jamie. That's the direction I'm trying to like.

Jamie

Oh.

Rebecca

you in too,

Jamie

Oh. Why didn't you just say that? Why are you acting like you didn't know?

Rebecca

because it's not gonna sound like a conversation.

I am Jamie. And I'm Rebecca. Welcome to the Burnout Collective.

Rebecca

I am talking about this isn't, like talking about this makes me feel embarrassed. That it's like I should have a fucking handle on my money. And it's embarrassing to admit and realize that we're getting by, but for the therefore, for the grace of God, like

Jamie

yeah.

Rebecca

I should be better about it and I'm not. And that's embarrassing to admit.

Jamie

Yeah. And even being,

Rebecca

See, I'm be, I'm being vulnerable and sharing my feelings. Jamie, I just would like to point that out. Thank you. I'm really trying. I'm really trying.

Jamie

Rebecca has her hand to like her chest right now. You guys like, not your neck? No. Oh.

Rebecca

I'm like, hold it on. But don't you feel like you should have your shit together

Jamie

oh, of course

Rebecca

age? I know. And

Jamie

40. I'm always like, yeah, I was just talking with Adon the other day about our parents at this age and

Rebecca

they, they had a house. They didn't have college debt. That's a big one. They didn't have college debt.

Jamie

yeah, I don't, I actually don't remember when my dad paid off his loans. Like my moms were paid off like really quickly. But then my dad, was a pastor, so he went

Rebecca

Oh,

Jamie

to school and he has a bachelor's,

Rebecca

yeah, but there's a whole spiel on what. The cost of college then, and like how little it was to get a house and the fact that their parents come from likely generational like how many people's parents like, helped them make a down payment on their first house,

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

they had a lot of help and there were, and when you got a job, you could keep your job for 20 to 30 years. There were a lot of those and now there's not a lot of that either. circumstances for earning and making money and holding onto it, were, I feel like very different. I've never been in a job longer than three years. So you don't have, you don't have the ability or people don't let you stay in the same place for that long. Usually

Jamie

Yeah,

Rebecca

it's not as stable., And again, I feel like at the caveat and say it was very easy for people of a certain skin color. I realized that,

Jamie

Oh yeah.

Rebecca

I know there's inequality across the board there, and I do recognize that.

Jamie

I was just trying to find like how much student loans lost and like, so when would our parents have like. Maybe seventies, sixties, seventies, yearly to, oh, this is tuition though. The average cost of tuition and fees. To go to college is more expensive, so you need to take out more in student loans or you need to take out student loans. Whereas before, some people may not have needed to take out any or as much.

Rebecca

Or they could work and pay their way through college, like, oh, woo.

Jamie

Yeah. That's crazy.

Rebecca

And then you're, you can't even kill yourself and get out of it. Like your student loan debt follows you into death, right? Like your next kit have to pay it off. Or like your estate has to pay it off,

Jamie

I'm trying to remember. If that is student loan debt, federal loan, I guess is private loans. So federal goes away. If you die.

Rebecca

It's the private ones

Jamie

It's basically up to the lender. They're not, they don't legally have to discharge it upon someone's death. But it says most of them do. I wonder

Rebecca

wink.

Jamie

Yeah. Right.

Rebecca

Also you, what did you bold, what was that phrase? You bolded? was it angry? Angry overspending. What was it? you bolded some Yes. That I've never heard of and but

Jamie

I think that's what you and I were talking about

Rebecca

yeah,

Jamie

where

Rebecca

never heard of it, but that's

Jamie

I've never heard it called

Rebecca

That's the feeling.

Jamie

Yeah, exactly. That's why I bolded it.'cause I was like, absolutely. That's me. I was like, this is it.

Rebecca

That was fascinating.

Jamie

rebel all my

Rebecca

Is it just because it's fuck it, I don't wanna, I don't wanna be left out. Or is it like, I'm gonna be in debt till I'm debt anyway?

Jamie

After months of extreme frugality, you snap and spend$500 on things you don't need just to feel normal again, because the D Oh my God. It's like going on a diet dude. You're depriving yourself. Yeah. You're depriving yourself so much. Of things and extra things and special little treats for a special little guy. And it reaches a breaking point. And then your brain is I need relief from this. I'm gonna do this. And overspending provides temporary relief, even if it does like create guilt and sets you back or puts you back into a cycle of debt and shame. Um,

Rebecca

That's, that's fucked up. You are so right. It is, it's exactly like, it's exactly like being on a diet

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

and then you're just poorer than ever. It does, like it doesn't help. You're not gonna learn anything. You just Yeah. You just accrue more debt.'cause it just shame. A,

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

that's

Jamie

And the article didn't say anything by the diet about the diet, by the way. That's all me.

Rebecca

no, I, no, I think that's a brilliant fucking metaphor.

Jamie

That's true.

Rebecca

I've never thought of it like that, but that's a hundred percent correct. That makes so much sense. Have you ever actually tried to like. Get outta that cycle? Or have you ever tried to like consciously do something about it and I don't know, I'm not saying this is what, like maybe address it in therapy. I know some people address it in therapy or some people go to like overs, spenders anonymous. Which again, I'm not saying we need, but like, have you

Jamie

Again, I'm not saying we need Rebecca's like afraid. She like, you know, that you've, you've told us too much.

Rebecca

I know, I'm like really,

Jamie

You are like, not that we need to go to Overspending Anonymous or anything.

Rebecca

I know, I'm really panicking over here to be totally honest. but like, have you, have you tried to like, consciously ever just change the way you you I,

Jamie

Don't you remember at SLH you edited my story? Do you remember that? I did the shopping band.

Rebecca

yes, I know Jamie. That's the direction I'm trying to like.

Jamie

Oh.

Rebecca

you in too,

Jamie

Oh. Why didn't you just say that? Why are you acting like you didn't know?

Rebecca

because it's not gonna sound like a conversation.

Jamie

Yeah. You should have said, Hey, didn't you do a shopping band once? And write a story about it? what is wrong with you now? It's just awkward.

Rebecca

wrong with me is that I, oh my God,

Jamie

Oh, you're gonna, this is gonna be fun to edit.

Rebecca

I know, I'm really embarrassed. I'm mad at myself and I'm embarrassed.

Jamie

I'm not, I'm just

Rebecca

No, don't be sorry. I, it's very, this whole thing is very fucking

Jamie

I thought you didn't remember. It didn't make any sense that you wouldn't just say, Hey, didn't you do a shopping pan

Rebecca

I am trying to direct the conversation naturally and not seem bossy.

Jamie

by being so unnatural. I'm sorry, I'm done.

Rebecca

No, please don't. I'm,

Jamie

I'm trying to even remember. I remember it was hard as fuck. It was so hard. And I just told myself, I was like, okay. I wish the article was still up, but of course they took it down and I don't know where I like

Rebecca

so good

Jamie

kept it. I do, I wish I had it, but he was funny too'cause I was like trying to make it funny and I was like, Rebecca, just leave that in.'cause she edited it and I was like, just leave that in.

Rebecca

It was a good one.

Jamie

Yeah, I just told myself did I only do a month? I think I only did a month, which I think if you're gonna do it, I think you should do two or three months. think Ruth's done that too. Like she wouldn't come on as a guest, but, she might have some commentary on it. It was difficult. I,

Rebecca

you, wasn't it you eating cheesecake in your car? Is that how I remember it?

Jamie

of the jokes and I can't remember something

Rebecca

That one made me laugh really hard. And also I was like, I also relate deeply to this.

Jamie

That was the moment that like, you were like, we're friends, but now we're best friends.

Rebecca

Mm-hmm.

Jamie

yeah, I just, I told myself that like I could buy, like food obviously. Um, or things like I needed that I don't already have, because I had to say that because otherwise I'd be like. I need lotion and I'd like buy a, I'd buy a fancy lotion, even though I have a shit ton of lotion at home. so I had to, I like wrote down rules for myself, like I set rules and, uh, but it was like, obviously I can buy like paper towel if I need paper towel. But and also like, but don't buy paper towels that are on a good sale. If you already have paper towels at home, you're not allowed to buy it.'cause that gets me too. And like I,'cause like, I, I grew up like that. Like we always talk about my mom's father, my grandfather as being just like the most frugal person in the world. Like my grandfather's wallet do. Did you ever watch Seinfeld? No. No. George Costanza's wallet was just this like huge mess and stuff coming out of it, that was literally my, I have a picture of it. That was literally my grandfather's wallet. He held it together with a rubber band.

Rebecca

Oh God.

Jamie

And it was full of expired coupons, especially for like fast food places. And my grandfather also a Taurus would go into McDonald's and try to use it. And then if they'd say like, oh, I'm sorry, this expired three years ago. my grandpa would be like, like he would play like the old man card.

Rebecca

He used his little old man cuteness for evil.

Jamie

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca

Good for him,

Jamie

He also is such a competitive person that when we were kids, he would cheat at cards to win. And as we got older, the grandchildren started catching on and they were like, grandpa, but you didn't. And then he'd be like, oh, I didn't know. And like we knew he knew. We knew he knew, but he would like cheat to try to beat his grandchildren at card games. Amazing man. I love him. He's great.

Rebecca

I also cheat to beat my daughter at games.

Jamie

You know how I feel about cheating. That's,

Rebecca

I do,

Jamie

that's, I do.

Rebecca

I do.

Jamie

I think once I actually, I think I told you, I was like playing cards with Alyssa and her kids when they were really little and, they were just kind of getting out of the, letting their kids win all the time phase because like they were getting old enough and they wanted them, you know, to learn. Like, sometimes you lose and like, it's okay. And it wasn't even a loss, it was just like something I did where like, you want cards or something and I, I was like, oh, do you have this? It wasn't Go Fish, but it was something, and I like took a card from them and they lost it and started crying and I was just like, was I supposed to do that? Like, I'm sorry. And they were like, no, no, we're trying to teach them. I felt so bad. But my family was like pretty frugal growing up. So like we always say that's part of, that's just like part of our family. So there is still a little bit of that in me. but I was gonna say, that's why like I see something on sale, I'm like, oh, this is on sale. And like sometimes it's like, oh, do I need it? And it kept hang on another thing I was thinking, what is the phenomenon around ordering something on Amazon? What is the phenomenon where like you're like, oh, I need this thing. I'm gonna order it on Amazon, and then you're like, what else should I add here? Do you do that? Is that just me?

Rebecca

If you go to a grocery store or like any type of retail store, you know how like you'll kind of wind like Marshall's or TJ Maxwell will wind up and they have these walls. It's like that, but like the online version, it'll be like, Hey, maybe you also, and it again, the algorithm knows you, so you're like, oh, I do need that. And it makes suggestions. So yes. It's not just you, it's on purpose. And 100% I do it too.

Jamie

I wonder if it partly stems from do you remember Amazon before? Like free shipping and so, and like other places now, not everywhere, but where you have to meet like the threshold. I wonder if it partially stems from that though, where like we're trying to be like, oh, we can't just ship this one thing

Rebecca

that's a really good point too. Yeah, I didn't think about it like that, but yes.

Jamie

even though

Rebecca

it's, yeah, it's like a wall while I'm here and I'm, I can just get it all at once again, somewhere there's like an econ major who's losing their fucking shit and is it's on purpose.

Jamie

No, it,

Rebecca

It's supposed to be like that. No, that's a good point about the free shipping though. What happens when two Tauruses decide to talk about spending money?

Jamie

I know we did an episode on spending, this is supposed to be about money and debt, and yet we still did it about sweat bending, which I mean, it's.

Rebecca

The other thing you had on there was like, well, why bother? I'm gonna be in debt anyway. Like I have student loans anyway. Like people might be thinking like that. And so it's just like, well, fuck it. what's the

Jamie

Or like you can never get ahead, like when you can never seem to get

Rebecca

never.

Jamie

and you're just

Rebecca

can't buy a house.

Jamie

Why should I not buy this like Starbucks coffee?

Rebecca

Yep.

Jamie

yeah.

Rebecca

It's just fatalistic thinking because you're like, I'm not, I'm never not gonna be able to do what I want anyways, so I might as well,

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

except the problem is you are also correct because you can't afford a house and like things are too fucking expensive.

Jamie

They really are. That reminds me of what I put in the notes that we didn't say, but like in the personal finance world, like there are always those quote unquote success stories of people who paid off massive amounts of debt and

Rebecca

Quit their jobs and sail around the world with their

Jamie

how they did it. And the majority of the time, like these stories were literally just here's how I paid off all my student loan debt with daddy's money. But it didn't say that. It made it sound like they did it on their own. But then as you read it, they were like, or they were like, my greatuncle died and I got$30,000. And it's okay. Obviously,

Rebecca

my dad offered to loan me some money. Like,

Jamie

To get me started, my dad gave me a cool one mill and I

Rebecca

So your parents are rich enough to give you that much money. You're fuck you.

Jamie

you don't have debt. Debt is not,

Rebecca

And a lot of these financial gurus are fucking white guys. Let me tell you how I made money. Let me tell you how I got ahead.

Jamie

I did wanna bring up, I wonder if it's still, no, I think they got rid of that too, probably. But there was that one article that our friend Cat wrote, and it was like, it was so funny'cause it was actually like a story about how. A lot of the times it was like people doing crazy side hustles to make extra money to put toward like debt. And this one guy was like selling like crickets online or something, and it was really gross, but it was like drop shipping crickets basically.

Rebecca

Yeah. That one was weird.

Jamie

Do you remember that?

Rebecca

I do. Yes, I do.

Jamie

Oh my gosh. Here it is. It's on, uh, Florida today. Meet the man who makes$600 a month selling crickets. How do you even come into that? how are you like, all right, like him and his wife needed extra money to pay off student loans. what do we do?

Rebecca

I saw an AI video the other day of a hippopotamus having diarrhea on a leopard, and it was ai, but like somebody's brain had to think of that in order to create the, prompt it. anyway, my point is it's the same kind of brain who's like, Hey, we should solve crickets like in a million years. Got into my head, could not think of that, but someone did and now they're doing it and. Apparently that's what we didn't. So who, that's hyper brain

Jamie

That's so crazy.

Rebecca

crickets.

Jamie

And it was to like sell to like reptile owners who need to feed crickets to their pets. I don't know anything about raising crickets. He admits I.

Rebecca

He's the Jeff Bezos of cricket sales.

Jamie

have short lifespans and unique nutritional and environmental needs. It's a lot of work that takes a lot of knowledge. But when I set up my business, I found someone who breeds them. He takes care of them, he ships them. I just handle the orders. Wow.

Rebecca

Oh my God. I thought you were joking. It is drop shipping crickets.

Jamie

That's so funny. But hey, you know. You know what? This is the only one I actually remember besides the sea of my daddy gave me money stories. Like this is the only actual one I remember it was so

Rebecca

is brave enough. To stand up.

Jamie

And drop ship. Crickets.

Rebecca

The hero we didn't know we, we needed or wanted.

Jamie

do you wanna come on the show and talk about interviewing this young man?

Rebecca

You know what, I'm just gonna caveat. I've had such like a long week. I'm so squirrely right now, but what about women who decided to sell like their underwear online or like pictures of their feet or like farts in a jar?

Jamie

Yeah,

Rebecca

Those women also deserve to be applauded for their ingenuity and

Jamie

absolutely.

Rebecca

amazing side hustle ideas.

Jamie

Yeah. Gamer girl bath water,

Rebecca

I was just thinking that.

Jamie

Yeah,

Rebecca

Yep.

Jamie

that's what I say.

Rebecca

Good for her.

Jamie

If people have money to spend on that stuff, take advantage of that and take their money. You need it

Rebecca

Yeah. here in all your debt research, did you come across like the actual physiological and psychological effects of being in debt?

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

Like how it affects your blood pressure, how it affects like your health overall, you're just constantly in a state of stress.

Jamie

I didn't get into the, like specifics, like blood pressure and stuff. I wouldn't say necessarily like physical. It was just more like overall, like 92% said that like financial stress caused them physical side effects. But

Rebecca

Yeah,

Jamie

it was like not sleeping,

Rebecca

sleeping, you can't think about anything else.

Jamie

gaining too much weight, losing too much weight, stuff like

Rebecca

and then depression too.'cause you're like avoiding answering the phone.'cause it might be collections or like checking the mail so then you're, isolating yourself.

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

also I think that's a lot like miscarriages, they're not talked about, but it's way more common than people think. But there's a level of like embarrassment and shame because it's not really talked about a lot. And I think people just sit alone with it

Jamie

I think it's talked about more now, a lot more than like when we started, like in doing personal finance even. But yeah, it's still not talked about enough and, people struggle and that's it. Yeah. Like people were saying, I don't tell, so some people probably don't even tell their partner, oh, I just spent all this money, and I'm not gonna tell my partner about it, or I can't tell my partner'cause I'm afraid or ashamed or whatever.

Rebecca

hiding. Have you hit, have you ever hit a purchase? I have. I'm just full disclosure. I have, I am

Jamie

I haven't, I guess I haven't really, I've only really had one relationship where like we were sharing money. so I just haven't had that much experience where we were sharing money where it's like anyone else's business, you know?

Rebecca

Yeah, that's true.

Jamie

But go on.

Rebecca

What's really interesting is I'll be embarrassed, like I bought this for myself and I don't really need it. But then when Rob's looking at a guitar, I'll be like, you work really hard and you deserve

Jamie

Yeah.

Rebecca

So part of me also feels like, do we buy it? Because it's I, like, I work hard, I deserve it. Like we, we don't do that for ourselves. Like we don't say that to ourselves. Instead, it's just like spiraling and shame and anxiety. But like for the people we love, we're like, no, you 100% deserve to spend money on things that make you happy.

Jamie

Sometimes we even buy them something, that we want and then we take it from them when it arrives to make ourselves feel better.

Rebecca

1000% correct. That is, that's my favorite way to give gifts.

Jamie

Did you like that?

Rebecca

But really though, like there's no, there's not a sense of compassion for ourselves.'cause like we also are

Jamie

that's everything, right?

Rebecca

I know

Jamie

That's the whole talk to yourself like you're talking to a friend.'cause to ourselves we're like, you shouldn't have done that. Now. You've ruined everything. You're a piece of shit. you can't do anything, You're never gonna get through this, But then with a friend, we're like, you're gonna get through this. You, you're gonna work it out. It's

Rebecca

or you're mean. I'm like, Jamie, you don't have sticker money right now?

Jamie

like that. Like that's fair. I needed to hear that. You know, you were being a good friend. Yeah. Like, I couldn't even afford to buy stickers. Rebecca was like, she had the audacity when I like, didn't have a job to show me these amazing stickers she got. And they were like, I don't know, it was just like a 20,$25 thing. And I was like, oh, I wanna get some. And she was like, she told me I couldn't. She was like, Jamie, no. You don't have sticker money, but I needed to hear it. So

Rebecca

I am sorry.

Jamie

No, Rebecca's crying.

Rebecca

I should have let you

Jamie

I.

Rebecca

I'm sorry.

Jamie

I should have let you, I'm like, actually, I pull out the stickers. I like did get them like, do you know how much interest I paid on my credit card for these stickers?

Rebecca

You are like, I have hid purchases from you,

Jamie

That's hilarious.

Rebecca

There's also a level of me that wonders if, like, we were not destitute, but like we definitely were Kmart on layaway back to school clothes type of kids. And part of me wonders if like, there's something there, like either embarrassment or not wanting to go back to that or feeling like that.

Jamie

I think so. Well because like, I think that goes back to the whole diet thing, you know, because like as kids and like growing up, if like our family was on a financial diet, I just hate the word diet. So now I'm like, what else can we, Then as

Rebecca

on a financial cleanse,

Jamie

And then we have we have our own money and like we're adults now, or we have, and or we have our own families. we're like, I don't want my family to feel like that because also kids are mean. I was made fun of for clothes. Like I wore like a lot of hand me down boy clothes, like a lot growing up. and yeah. And so maybe maybe it's part that too.

Rebecca

It's like having the thing will, having the thing will make me feel better.

Jamie

That's it. It's literally just like the instant, like dopamine kick like we get from shopping. that's what that article was saying.

Rebecca

Healing your inner poor child by spending money.

Jamie

Now that is the whitest woman thing you could possibly

Rebecca

Somewhere someone has written that article I would bet so much fucking money on that. But I, it's true though. It's like I, I sometimes, I was like, why do you have so many clothes? It's like,'cause I never had so many clothes. You know what I mean?

Jamie

Did you say that to him? I'm surprised.

Rebecca

think I'm

Jamie

I'm surprised you

Rebecca

I think I'm poor. No, I think I'm white trash everything I'm saying. I'm like, oh, that's, yeah. No, I think I'm white trash.

Jamie

I mean, I wasn't gonna say anything.

Rebecca

I'm pretty sure. I'm just like, poor white trash that has money now. That's disconcerting.

Jamie

you do buy dressed up roadkill,

Rebecca

Literally, I literally buy dress up roadkill for fuck's sake. I buy rocks

Jamie

Yeah,

Rebecca

out here spending money on rocks.

Jamie

seriously like buying crystals. that was my favorite thing to do as a kid was like look through rocks and find like crystals and special rocks and stuff

Rebecca

Oh, when you would like when you were on vacation and they had those bins of

Jamie

Oh yeah, in the little bags.

Rebecca

were Yes.

Jamie

Little drawstring, velvet bags or whatever.

Rebecca

Yeah.

Jamie

Yeah. Gift shop at Gettysburg or whatever. Always had that. Get that and some rock candy, some jelly beans,

Rebecca

Jelly beans and rocks.

Jamie

Wow. So this is just childhood trauma then, is what we're interesting.

Rebecca

Okay. No, that you just made, I know you're joking, but I think there literally is for a lot of people, trauma around money. I really

Jamie

Oh yeah. I was laughing but I wasn't joking.

Rebecca

You're right. Like people have a lot of, either it's like hearing your parents fight about money or not having enough as a kid or like getting made fun of because you didn't, like you were the, didn't have enough money,

Jamie

You didn't wear the cool expensive shoes from I remember getting to shop at Target once in a while, and that was like

Rebecca

That was big Spending Target

Jamie

Oh my God. That was a luxury.

Rebecca

Target clothes were very,

Jamie

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca

yep.

Jamie

Thrift store and K-Mart a lot.

Rebecca

shopping at Old Navy for the first time and I was like, I have made it. I've made it. I have made it. Anyway, that's all I have to say about money for now, and if you would love to join the conversation, maybe we can do part three. Just send us an email.

Jamie

At podcast@burnoutcollective.com. Email us if you would like to be a guest about anything, but also if you're listening to this episode about money and debt and you are face palming into your desk or your hands. And you have something to say.

Rebecca

Please send us. We will love to hear from you.

Jamie

See you next week

Rebecca

goodbye

Jamie

Bye.

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

Giggly Squad Artwork

Giggly Squad

Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Struggle Care Artwork

Struggle Care

KC Davis
Criminal Artwork

Criminal

Vox Media Podcast Network
Morbid: A True Crime Podcast Artwork

Morbid: A True Crime Podcast

AlainaAsh UrquhartKelly
The Rewatcher Artwork

The Rewatcher

Morbid Network