The Burnout Collective
We're tired af. We're sick of this sh*t. And we're guessing you are too. Welcome to The Burnout Collective podcast—a place for broken, burnt out brains to talk it out. Join us and our guests as we Do Our Best(tm) to break the burnout cycle.
We podcast live on Twitch every Thursday at 5pm PT. New episodes are released the following Tuesday anywhere you get your podcast fix.
The Burnout Collective
But would you attend their out of state funeral?
In this episode, we discuss the quirks and joys of having a "work spouse" or work bestie. We share hilarious stories about workplace etiquette (like being betrayed by a potential work wife), the importance of having a reliable ally at work, and the unspoken rules of office friendships. Plus, Rebecca has her own moment of realization that she's the "mean friend." And, dear reader, she's thrilled.
Have a suggestion for our next episode? A burnout story to share? Send us a text!
The Burnout Collective Podcast is hosted by Jamie Young and Rebecca McCracken. We’ve had every ounce of inspiration sucked out by years of startups and hustle culture, and we’re trying to reclaim our creativity. Join us and our guests as we explore how to restart and reenergize our brains. Every Thursday at 5pm PT, we stream live on twitch.tv/TheBurnoutCollective.
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Music track: Snap Your Fingers by Aylex
Source: https://freetouse.com/music
Did you hear about, like that guy in Australia who murdered his wife and then chopped her up and put her in a blender and like blended her and then they like came to arrest him and he was like it was self-defense?
Speaker 2:Is it so bad that I want to know what blender he used? I'm Jamie.
Speaker 1:And I'm Rebecca. Welcome to the Burnout Collective.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody, I got to learn last week that I am somebody's meanest friend, and not to them, but to their enemies, and so she reached out to me, knowing that I had 100% say whatever she needed to hear, and I did, and I will just go to war for her Meanest friend.
Speaker 1:You are, because even when, like, I come to you with something and I'm complaining, like about a manager at work, for instance and a lot of times I know I seem like a jerk, but I'm actually a very nice person I try to like justify things. So I'll be like you know, I'm pretty sure like they're going through this hard thing at home right now and whatever, and rebecca would be like no, I, I hate them, I hate her. I hate her. She's awful. How do we murder her? What is the plan here? Yeah, so rebecca's that my favorite.
Speaker 2:My favorite game is how long can jamie last past me telling them that they're a bad person and that I hate them until they come to actually see it herself, didn't?
Speaker 1:know that was a game. Now that's always going to be top of mind when we're talking, and now I feel like you've just ruined our whole podcast just with our talking relationship, the way we communicate, so like we're trying to get a few episodes under our belt and this is five, by the way, which is really cool. That feels really cool and I'm so proud of us because the anniversary oh my god, happy anniversary. What'd you get me?
Speaker 2:validation. Sorry, I think we should. I'm tired of pretending to do small talk because I'm like literally wiggling.
Speaker 1:I wasn't. I mean, I wasn't pretending like. This is actually how I do small talk.
Speaker 2:No, you know how my meetings are like we are in and out.
Speaker 1:Me too, but this is different. This isn't supposed to be a meeting. God Okay, surprise, more anxiety? Yep, all right, so let's get started. Work besties, we're work besties.
Speaker 2:Also known as work wives. Yeah, we're work wives for life.
Speaker 1:We also may have plotted her husband's demise to the point Plotted, discussed.
Speaker 2:Thought about Brainstormed, plotted, her husband's demise to the point I plotted, discussed. Thought about brainstormed, brainstormed yeah, made a.
Speaker 1:Yeah, workshopped, made a google doc. Yeah, I'm just seeing if you're listening, rob. Also, I do have to say, like rob, I'm so proud of you. I know you're not listening anymore because I have nothing to offer you at this time except a murder, but I like that. His response is very Slack chat, like work chat. Okay, sounds good. That's what I say to people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he used an exclamation point once. I was so proud.
Speaker 1:As is it I want to know? I know we're still doing small talk which rebecca's slowly dying inside from, but am I the only person? And is it I want to know if it's like an editor or writer thing that I'm very conscious about using exclamation points like sometimes woman thing. I think it's a woman.
Speaker 2:Oh, that could be true, because you can't have too many. You can start off the email with one, then you have to say your request. But like you can't use them there because then it looks like you're talking like this, you just have to have your request and then you can maybe do one at the bottom when you sign off. So like two max in a work email yeah, that's like, that's all.
Speaker 2:I barely do one yeah, but it's friendly enough that they don't think that you're annoyed that they haven't given you that thing yet and got to it yet. It just sounds like hey checking in, yeah, two, just checking in. Did I tell you? I got called into an office once to get a talking to from my boss. Yeah called in for a talking to because one of the writers complained that I didn't use enough emojis in my emails.
Speaker 1:When like communicating with them.
Speaker 2:And she was uncomfortable with my communication methods, I mean.
Speaker 1:I'm uncomfortable with my communication methods. I mean, I'm uncomfortable with your communication methods, but I would never yeah, so that was fun.
Speaker 2:Not using enough emojis in your work communications.
Speaker 1:We need more granular expressiveness in our punctuation. I have to add them because otherwise I sound like an asshole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't send, especially no emojis in emails, because they can come off weird I sometimes I'll.
Speaker 1:I usually use emojis as punctuation, which is weird, so I'll be writing multiple sentences and if I add an emoji at the end of one, I don't put a period. Is that unhinged?
Speaker 2:yes, the fact that crossed your mind at all. You're a good editor. I just never consider that you put a period after an emoji.
Speaker 1:This is not after you know you would put it before, like you'd put the period after the sentence and then the emoji, but I just skip that. Listen, listen, I am. I'm a rebel. Okay, I have no costs, I make up my own punctuation rules and how do you set yourself apart and work slack?
Speaker 2:Do you have any emojis that only you use to set yourself apart, so they know that you've been there?
Speaker 1:People a lot of people, I guess have started using this, but one like the heart. My heart's always like a purple heart typically, but one that we have on slack that I actually use a lot is the beanie baby ty tag, you know, for thank you, because I think it's so funny. So that's always my thank you.
Speaker 2:I do one of Tom hanks. It's just like a tom hanks headshot, because it's t hanks thanks.
Speaker 1:I do use a lot of gifs and I do use a lot of emojis. I really try to make myself note. Is this not about work besties now? Is this now about, like really, trying hard.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm really trying to steer us the fuck out of this. So it should be about work besties. So I'm like really trying to go here.
Speaker 1:I feel a bit left. I feel personally attacked. Yeah so much. The emojis are just besties.
Speaker 2:I did teach my boss how to use gifts. That's cute. I've never been more proud. And he sends them like he's. He's done a couple good ones, so, oh, and putting them in presentations that started a little like infiltrate, which I love yeah, hey, dude, what when you're in a corporate world?
Speaker 1:it's the little thing. My favorite is just like cussing in meetings. That's what I like to do.
Speaker 2:That is see, that's how you that is, and I will just segue that's how you feel people out and get to know who the good people are. I finally broke someone who, like I've been trying to get to say fuck for forever and she finally said it on Slack the other day and I was like, yes.
Speaker 1:I'm going to need you to work on my mother then. So fudge, gotta start somewhere. I love having meetings with people for the first time and then realizing that they can like slouch and I don't know, just like I'm a very casual and I don't know, just like I'm a very casual. I'm a very casual, like laid back person and I feel like I'm not exactly the same at work. But I'm basically the same at work, like I don't really change my personality for work. I don't think I've ever said a sentence that starts with I love meetings or I love having meetings ever. No, everyone at my work knows that I fucking hate meetings and I will do everything in my power to not have them. Like it's not.
Speaker 2:You and I used to compete to see whose meetings could be the shortest. I think like we got done in under seven minutes once it was like they're 10 to seven to 10 minutes, like we got our meeting done and out of the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was great, great however, I am really bad because, like, I do long goodbyes and I will do that on meetings if I'm in a meeting with somebody who, like I love, like, like my direct reports or something. So sometimes I'll stay on even longer. But I purposely no, but it's people, I like it's people. It's like you and I being on a meeting and staying on longer okay but like still know the people, I like I still don't want to.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's fine yeah, it's so true okay, so we got to get into work fast season work wise, work wise. I was not your first one, and I don't think you were mine either. Do you want to talk about your first work?
Speaker 1:wife. I do think technically my first work wife was Karen Shout out to Karen when we worked at AppAdvice together. So we worked remotely and we both happened to be living in Cleveland at theverted and I think she pushed she did kind of like the bullying into friendship a little bit Because of course I was like what, no, I'm on my computer at home wearing no pants, I don't want to put on pants and go outside, and she kind of lured me out. So that was good, I'm still friends with her. I don't see her as much, but like she was my first. And then it was Ruth who is still.
Speaker 1:We actually still call each other buddy because at the place we used to work you're new and they give you like a work buddy and they're like oh, this is your buddy to show you the ropes and help you feel new. And they give you like a work buddy and they're like oh, this is your buddy to show you the ropes and help you feel comfortable and like take you out to your first work lunch and like whatever. So we had that and we were not like buddies because we started. I think she started a little bit after me but I was like too new, so like we weren't work buddies, but we always like kind of made fun of it. So we'd always call each other buddy and like to. So like we weren't work buddies, but we always like kind of made fun of it. So we'd always call each other buddy and, like to this day, like we text each other and we go hey, buddy, how you doing?
Speaker 2:That like buddy is actually the professional C word for men. Like if you call a man buddy in the workplace, I call men buddy all the time.
Speaker 1:I love it. Ape shit. No, they fucking hate it. Buddy, buddy, I just do it to be condescending, honestly. Hey, buddy, how you doing champ. Oh, champ is even worse. I guess that's mostly in video games actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah no buddy Using just throwing a casual buddy. Why?
Speaker 1:are you so mad? Why are you so mad champ Buddy? They hate it and I mad champ buddy, they hate it and I love it so much. It thrills me it thrills me.
Speaker 2:Go ahead and talk about bj. Bj before jamie. Oh okay, so bj was somlin, who I met at my very first job, right like I was two weeks out of college and I got a full-time job and she was so glamorous she made $50,000 a year. This was in 2007. I was like one day I will make that much same same also.
Speaker 2:I have a story to go on off of that, but go on she was she's 10 years older and I made 32 and she was so sophisticated and just really, and she kind of intimidated, until one day she's like, oh, my sweat smells like cat pee. Does your sweat ever smell like cat pee? Like it's just, oh, it's stinky, and I was like, oh I, oh, I love her.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, that's what did it for you?
Speaker 2:yes, she, because she just she's very tall and model-esque and like, very, like, very fancy, just sophisticated, and so the fact that she was just.
Speaker 1:That's such a and that's such a sophisticated thing to say honestly that's what I mean, like sweat over it smell like happy, happy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's like the definition of sophisticated yeah, so that's who I call whenever I a promotion, or she gets a promotion or a new job, because we've known each other since, like baby day, us, yeah, and then like see how far we've progressed, yeah, yeah. So that's cool, like, yeah, we've seen each other from marriage to pregnancies, to death, to menopause, like she's been.
Speaker 1:To being ghosts. Sorry, being ghosts.
Speaker 2:You said death, so honestly like she's just, she's awesome. And so she was my first, and now her one of her kids is best friends with my kid. Oh, we love that's cute. I know, I really love that. I do like that um. And then there was nothing um for a while. And then amy was my second one, and then you so we kind of had a similar progression.
Speaker 1:I would say like baby us, yeah, baby us, yep. Second one and then the main bitch, you know do you have one at your current?
Speaker 1:place that would definitely be ash and I very close and like we worked together for so long because she started as an editorial assistant at the place we met at and then, after that fell through, I brought her over to the next place I went and she was my editorial assistant there and it was like just me. So she was my first hire and I got to build a team. So she helped me like build up that team and like that girl works her ass off, like love her so much we're just like your friend hiring you and being your manager, but still like being able to maintain that kind of relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's super. Yeah, and we just worked together because like at that time I knew her, but I didn't know her super well, but I knew that she did good work and I knew that I just liked her as a person and she was a good person and she was like willing to learn, and so I just kind of was like, oh, she's good, this is going to be good. But like I don't think either of us had any idea what it was going to be like, yeah, I brought her over to my next company with me and I think like our relationship just blossomed. She was awesome. She ended up I trained her to be an editor, so then she started as an editor and she helped me train and hire the next editorial assistant.
Speaker 2:It's just these like generations it's like Buffy, it's like dragy, it's like no, it's like drag queens. Like you have the mother and then her children and they train the ones below them yeah, I guess it kind of is.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so we worked there together for, like, I want to say, almost four years. I think it was like three and a half years long time and then I went to another job and brought her and that's like my current job. That's not currently my current job, but I guess my last job, the job I just got laid off from, she is still there. So you guys basically like kind of trauma bonded especially with work stuff, because if you're going to go on a work trip or a work retreat or whatever, yeah, yes, you have to figure out who you can sit in the back and be an asshole with.
Speaker 2:That's very important. Yeah, I knew. I think everyone knew they were in so much trouble on our first trips to sedona, where you and I saw each other for the first time and they were like here's wine and it was our birthdays, because the retreats always happened in May.
Speaker 1:So it was always like on our birthdays that we were there. And, oh man, we were like we would be like these people are getting so drunk, like you shouldn't get drunk like that on a work trip in front of like. And then it was our birthday and we're like it's our birthday and then just like, open bar, all right, I'm going to black out. I'm just kidding. We did not black out.
Speaker 2:No, but there was that one time where we had the award ceremony and it was us two in the back, so it was those kinds of drinks where they're so good they don't taste like they're really not and uh, we were going through them. They had. What was it? There was something. It was starfruit. There are pieces of starfruit and we were just adding up the star.
Speaker 1:They were garnished with starfruit and like the servers kept trying to like, take our glasses away and I was like, no and like, because I wanted to see, like, how much we drank.
Speaker 2:I feel like that is the most I have had, maybe ever we had to make Michael go fetch our awards for us, because neither one of us could stand up they were, they were giving out awards and they were calling people up, and so it was like this big, like banquety type deal and they called my name and I was like this big like banquety type deal, and they called my name and I was like Michael and I don't even think he was next to us.
Speaker 1:Was he like at our table? Even he must have been at our table.
Speaker 2:No, I don't think Was he. Oh, maybe not, he might have been, but I just feel like Michael, michael, get it for me, michael.
Speaker 1:Michael bring me the, and then get it for me michael. Michael bring me the. And then, of course, he was like what? No, I'm like michael, get it michael. He's like I treat him like a little brother and I also bully him. So he felt the need to do it and he did he did, he did it. And then yours came and you were like michael, he was like okay yeah, he's like shit, not her too, and so I don't even know what my award was I like when we get to bully him in tech's tag team.
Speaker 2:That is my favorite, oh yeah. So that's the other fun thing about work wives you can pick like your own specific enemies and then just together hopefully michael's not listening.
Speaker 1:He's like what do you mean?
Speaker 2:I'm your enemy oh, I was gonna say that, like. Also, like when you, if you have to share rooms, it is so vital to have a work wife because it's like, for the next 72 hours I am likely going to have to take a shit in the next room with this person, change clothes and sleep in the same room with, and I'm like you have to find the person that you're okay doing that with.
Speaker 1:We never had to do that on a work trip, though.
Speaker 2:Thank Christ, not at this place. We didn't, right, I'm so grateful. Okay, so this may be a little too TMI, but when I was at a different company, I was in the bathroom with two work wives they were their own work wives, right and one of them just sat down while we're in there getting ready to take a shit and I was so uncomfortable's like oh, we do this in front of each other all the time. But I was like, oh, no, this is no, we have not reached that level together. Like I will not poop in front of any of you people. Like no, thank you. So that's why I would share a bed with you, because we were sharing a bathroom. Like okay, jamie's gonna be like the person I know, your poop friend, your poop friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she your poop friend. Your poop friend. Yeah, she's my poop friend.
Speaker 2:Not necessarily in front of you, but like I'd be okay if you were on the other side of the door.
Speaker 1:Or, like I mean, if we had to, we would you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yeah, it's very uncomfortable being outside of a work-wife relationship and having to witness it when it's not your own.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:I it when it's not your own. Oh, didn't really think, I didn't really think about that, oh not that I care. If it's us, that's fine. No, I know, but like seeing someone else in that situation, I was like, oh, I should not be witnessing whatever is going on here, whatever, whatever is happening so work spouses have the same privilege as, like, actual legal spouses.
Speaker 2:So they can't sit on you, they can't testify against you to the CEO, anything that you are told not to say. They are excluded from that, obviously, because, like your spouse, you can tell them whatever. So none of that applies to a person, applies to work spouses. So, yeah, you are also granted that same privileges.
Speaker 1:Yeah, except when you find somebody who you think is a potential work spouse and then isn't they're not.
Speaker 2:I don't want to take up more time, but like please stories in a row, please.
Speaker 1:This is a podcast. I would love it if you talked so I.
Speaker 2:This was at a place where they had a keg. It was one of those places where, like, we have a keg and one of my interview questions do they have a foosball table?
Speaker 1:do they have a foosball table or air hockey?
Speaker 2:both yeah and ping pong love it yeah, one of the interview questions was if you could be any type of dinosaur, what would it be and why?
Speaker 2:no, I'm sorry, no it was being interviewed by frat bros. So I was given like half of a job, right, so I had my whole job. And then someone gave me like half of someone else's because they couldn't handle the workload and I asked to be paid more for that time because, obviously, and so we were at lunch and she was with me and my other friend and she's like, oh, so are they paying you more to do this work? And I was like, yeah, they're paying me like 500 a week extra. And she's like, oh, I see, she went and snitched. She went and snitched to her boss and told her boss that I had been talking about salaries.
Speaker 2:So, and then I got in trouble with my boss, who told me that I wasn't allowed to talk about salaries and like, which, by the way, is illegal? It's illegal, I can a hundred percent talk about it. And like we don't want to make the other people jealous, even though I was doing more work. Yeah, so there was that. And then she came out. She flew out to see me this is after I'd left that company and moved. She flew out with the same friend to see me. She got drunk, she tried to lay down on my husband's lap and actually did so, I believe, right, right, and then at your house, at my house, when you try to take her around to like I don't know, just put her on someone else's lap, I don't god, probably what and I wasn't there.
Speaker 2:So I didn't know until after she left. But wait, why weren't you there? Oh, like in the room you mean? No, he was like I'm gonna just take her for a walk, like sober her up. Oh, oh yeah, the other friend was like heavily pregnant and so I just wanted to stay there with her anyway. So during that walk she just like lit into him and just told him some really nasty shit, like he had abandoned his first family. I was like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:which was years but none of her business years before, literally also just like go to therapy, holy truly so hard I was oh, I was so mad so he didn't tell me what she said until after she left and I texted her just like do not ever contact me again. We are done. We are not friends. How could you do that to my husband? Just that was so mean. And I never heard from her again, except for a couple years later, when someone that I had identified, who we previously worked with, as a giant asshole you know the ones where it's like that guy's an asshole and everyone loves him, and you have to wait until everyone else realizes that.
Speaker 1:Rebecca, I think I think that's an only you thing.
Speaker 2:By the way, all right, but it's true and he's like that guy who is the asshole? Who you thought? 100 an asshole, thank you. So that is my like work wife. Divorce, wow. And bitter ex. She's my bitter ex-work wife will not. I should have thought about this more because, like, I wonder if I have a bitter ex also just while you're thinking about it, if you could be any dinosaur, what would it be and why?
Speaker 1:I don't have an answer for that.
Speaker 2:That's not really something I think about because my answer was the indominus rex from, like, the jurassic world movie, the one with chris pratt, like the one who could, who is smarter than all the other dinosaurs and could like camouflage and eat people and just be like the smartest thing there. That was my answer.
Speaker 1:Okay, if we can do that, then I'll. Then I choose Yoshi.
Speaker 2:Ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Yoshi's a good one, which, coincidentally, is also one of my Mario Kart and Mario Party picks.
Speaker 2:You could make cute noises, you could eat as many apples as you wanted. Aw, absolutely God. That was a stupid place to work. That's crazy, yeah, oh, and then there was the other work wife who hired me but we talked about that already and then just turned out to be oh yeah yeah, so there's been a couple bad ones.
Speaker 2:The other thing we're talking about is like there's different levels of work wipe. I know we mentioned pooping, but like there's a very crucial one and I need you to, that is like off the charts. That's not a normal work wipe. I know we mentioned pooping, but like there's a very crucial one and I need you to talk.
Speaker 1:That is like off the charts. That's not a normal work wife thing. I have to say the pooping, but I think we've established that.
Speaker 2:But we do have like one more measurement.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we just came up with this on the phone the other night and I was like this is perfect, it's our litmus test for how close are you to your work wife, slash work bestie?
Speaker 2:yeah, and like how to categorize them, like know kind of where they stand with you?
Speaker 1:yeah because there's like levels of it. So the question I had asked was if they died, would you fly and or drive to their out-of-state funeral? So this is assuming that they're in a different state than you or in a different country and like with yeah, with rebecca, like obviously, no question, like of course. But then there's some people where it's like okay, like what state, like how far are we talking? Or like is it near a big city that I want to go visit so I can like go to the funeral and make like a vacation out of it should I just send a harry and david basket and nice card, right?
Speaker 1:should I just send a nice card?
Speaker 2:that's another level like I would go with you to ruthie's like a supportive second wife ruth's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really funny that, because I think you two both feel like you know each other but you haven't met. But hopefully we'll change that in may.
Speaker 2:We'll see I'm like how is ruth doing so? Yeah, no, that's true.
Speaker 1:It's like because, like she like, passed me over to you and was like, take care of her yeah, I would go to her out-of-state funeral with you, yeah that's like next level. You're like, first and foremost, I would go to Ruth's, I would also go to yours, I'd go to yours maybe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know that I found funeral one. I think there's a couple of funeral at my current place, a couple like out-of-states.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Alyssa, we would be at your funeral. We would be at your funeral Probably like super inebriated and intoxicated. I don't think I'd travel for anyone's funeral. They're already dead. They won't appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Sorry guys, totally fine and honestly, that's not wrong. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, you'd be going for you.
Speaker 1:That's a good point, right, you'd be going for you, and, or, if you knew, and or the good or and or the good gossip, and it's equal, it's fair.
Speaker 1:I'm honestly only. I would only be going to Rebecca's funeral. Listen, I have so many saved voicemails and voice messages from this bitch. That saved voicemails and voice messages from this bitch that everyone would like die and maybe be shocked and surprised but also delighted, mostly some at. And I told her like I'm saving all these and I'm literally just going to like, basically I'm going to have like a PowerPoint, like a shit posting PowerPoint at your funeral, dude, and it's going to be GIFs and I'm going to make everyone listen to these just unhinged voice messages that you've left me over the years. It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 2:See, yeah, that's that level of work wife. You would plan my funeral and shit post me the entire time. Oh my God, you're the work wife that I left my Apple legacy to.
Speaker 1:Literally out of the blue. I'm literally just like oh, I get a message from Rebecca and it's like when Rebecca dies, you would have access to all of her accounts.
Speaker 2:And I was like the fuck this is like maybe mention it to my phone. No, he doesn't. I was thinking of like he doesn't have an iPhone and I panicked and it's kind of like I think you could give it no, like when your friend dies. The agreement is you go into my apartment. If there are any vibrators, take them out before my mom comes Right.
Speaker 1:Same thing, but like with Apple, so I would expect you to go in there and take screenshots if you need it, but then delete anything and everything that like cannot get out there. Okay, so can't I just like transfer it to me because I'm gonna? I'm gonna want to go through and like pick out stuff for the funeral?
Speaker 2:yes, and the parade, you know so the funeral parade no, that's what I would trust you to do with balloons banners for doing that.
Speaker 1:Thank you in advance. Honestly, maybe like emojis, like on the banners, you just say lol a lot because I really love that too it will just be a black heart on a black banner.
Speaker 2:It'll be great, lol, yeah yeah, when your parents know and act like, when your parents ask how so-and-so is, that's when you know like this is a work bestie or a work wife.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, that's true. Yeah, my parents definitely always ask about my work.
Speaker 2:Besties, do you still keep in touch with anyone just because you want to hear the shit that's happening at your former place of employment? Like you wouldn't go to their funeral but you know that you have to keep them kind of in the loop still because they got the good stuff.
Speaker 1:Honestly no, just because I feel like I don't have the energy to like keep up with that. But I feel like I have like my contacts, you know, like I have my people. So if I ever am curious like God, what's going on over there now, like I can find out, yes, but I don't think keeping contact with people for only that reason, that's a good point I can't think. I think maybe I was waiting for you to say that's a good point. I absolutely do, though I do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know I was trying to. I was trying to figure out which jobs I don't have that person from I am a mob boss, can you forget it?
Speaker 1:yeah, no, I don't do that. That's you are. Yeah, you are the queen of pettiness.
Speaker 2:It's just because I enjoy. I enjoy being right before anyone else knows I'm right. Yeah, and predicting the downfall of whatever or whoever. I mean, that's also just the chorus in you. I go on my merry way and just wait for them to text me oh, and she is so merry.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you just the amount of times she's just cackling. Look how happy she is just thinking about like, oh, you are a terrible person and I love you so much I love you, but I I wasn't wrong.
Speaker 2:I wasn't wrong. Oh god, I'm still waiting them'm still waiting for them to figure out that the one IT guy who I said is going to murder his wife, and has done so already, has actually done it. That's on my bingo card. He has murdered his wife. They're going to find her. Eventually. It's going to happen. No one believes me on that, but like, did you hear about that?
Speaker 1:100% happen. No one believes me on that. But like, do you hear about that 100? Like that guy in australia who murdered his wife and then chopped her up and put her in a blender and like blended her and then they like came to arrest him and he was like it was self-defense is it so bad that I want to know what blender he used? No, I'm not. I mean I'm not surprised. Like was it? Like was it? Was it like a magic bullet? So the magic bullet, or like a vitamix? Like what size that's?
Speaker 2:what I was thinking. I was like did he use a vitamix? Was it the really big one? What did he do with the bone?
Speaker 1:yeah, these people did not sign up for this. I'm sorry. Ninja food processor yes did he do batches? Did he do batches and just it's. It's just very hard for me to picture like it's not like in my head. It's almost comical how this would go.
Speaker 2:Anyway, like one of those bugs, bunny cartoons, when someone's in the kitchen and you've got like a pot boiling over, like yeah, burning, and the blood they're killing yeah, and was it like all of her?
Speaker 1:or was it just like let's put in a hand and like a piece of the scalp with the hair?
Speaker 2:This is the work wife that you can ask that question to. Yep. There are some things oh, that's the other thing like trying to kind of wiggle out how they feel who they are Like I have a gay brother and just like saying something and then waiting to see how they're going to react. Or just saying fuck and then seeing how they react to that too, or if they'll say it back to you in a meeting and then finding out who you don't like together but just very casually oh yeah, I love doing that wow, that was quite a meeting.
Speaker 2:Yeah with her, did you? I mean yeah she's so good.
Speaker 1:I like what sarah's I. I'm thinking a lot about what sarah said in that meeting. Are you thinking a lot about it?
Speaker 2:I am do you? Do you have any other thoughts about?
Speaker 1:I mean just if you could have another thought yeah, I think I'm still gathering mine, but what, like? What thoughts did you have about it?
Speaker 2:you know, I always try to keep it positive yeah, yeah, she does. Yeah, sarah seems to keep it positive yeah, I did have a question about that. One thing though smash cut to five minutes later and spoth is going. No, she's a fucking bitch. I hate her.
Speaker 1:We are terrible people that's how it goes, and then no, it's like oh, thank god, oh, my god thank god I hate her so much, thank you thank you.
Speaker 2:She's so fake, I can't oh, when your work wives, new work enemies, become your own work enemies, that's the other good, oh right, like you're not at the same company anymore. Yeah, that's what I'm saying you're the mean friend who they are, but like you hate them because they made your work wife suffer and you'll be like, yeah, fucking carolyn, she did it again, didn't? That's all like. That's all you have to say. So you just know these people intimately fucking carolyn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's. That's not anybody's real name, by the way, so everybody can calm down. Oh no, it's very clear.
Speaker 2:It is very clear that I am not friends with someone, so that's something no one ever has to worry about with me, ever, ever. Oh, also when like someone's guilty by association and you, so you just lump them in with like a work enemy, but then you figure out they also, yeah, consider that person a work enemy, it's like their direct report and they always seem to be like sucking up to them.
Speaker 1:So you're like okay, yeah, yes, and then you get them out for, like you know, one drink after work sometime with a small group of you and what I'm trying to remember at one of the places.
Speaker 1:I feel like alissa may have been here with me for this. I think it was Alyssa, michael and there was a new person. Who was it? Oh, my god, was it Greg?
Speaker 1:So we were signing out the conference meeting rooms at work for our lunch period so that we could play Dungeons and Dragons. Let me say that again for Rob. Dungeons and Dragons. Rob, play Dungeons and Dragons. Let me say that again for Rob Dungeons and Dragons. Rob Dungeons and Dragons, d&d. And this other, like this new guy came up and we were just like, oh, hey, and we opened up, like physically opened up the group a little more for him to like talk to us. And he was very kind of shy and he was like are guys playing dnd, like in the conference room? And we were like yeah, and he's like, oh, I've always wanted to play. I've never played, but like I like games and stuff. So we actually like brought him in. I want to say it was greg and I can't remember and I'm gonna feel so bad that I don't remember who it was, but clearly this friendship has lasted a very long time.
Speaker 1:It means so much to you, yeah but he ended up like doing a campaign with us. I think we even said like, oh, we just started, you should just jump in, and he was like no, it's okay. But we were like yeah, and I think he was just like really excited to have like it was greg. He became our friend and like we even would play just like regular, like little board games at lunch, sometimes at the little lunch tables, and we had other people like come join us.
Speaker 1:But the thing with the conference rooms this is totally a sidetrack and but hilarious to me because I remember so we would schedule like I have this room at this time and it would be during lunch and it would be during lunch and then sometimes we'd like go get our lunch or like we'd leave from our desk and go to walk into the room to, you know, play our board games or play dnd, and there would be someone in there like sometimes they were like doing an interview or something and it was like clear that they like just recently started and I would get so mad. I would be like I reserved that conference room and I remember Michael being like Jamie, like we're trying to go in there and play games like during work right and I'm like I don't care, I reserve that and they need to respect that. It's like it's just these standards I have.
Speaker 2:It's these moral standards of like just follow the rules, like don't be a dick, like I yeah, we want to be able to not work in this war in this room and we sign it out no, it's like we don't want to be bothered by anybody.
Speaker 1:Like, we just want this one hour where, like it's not terrible, please. And so I remember one time I went I was gonna like knock and my the going to like knock and the first time it happened and Michael's like Jamie, no, like it was holding me back because I was like, excuse me, we reserved this room to play Dungeons and Dragons. I don't know if you know what that is, but it's a very serious game and we hate this place and it is our only tiny joy, yeah. So yeah, everyone respects the rules or everything falls apart. That's right. It's not hard, it's basic awareness and respect of boundaries. That's right, exactly. I was so pissed though I reserved it fair and square, you know, and like ahead of time, it wasn't like the day of like this is like a, this is a recurring, okay, anyway, I'm done Good Okay.
Speaker 2:See, I'm done Good, okay. See, that's something that you can be right about.
Speaker 1:I mean something. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Not like that, jesus. Many things. I think we're getting a divorce, can't get a divorce. I'm sorry, oh God, we're not getting a divorce Never.
Speaker 1:That couldn't happen. I'm trying to think if there's any other interesting work wife stories. Now we're business partners so we're kind of stuck with each other. That's shades different. I mean, I got a business credit card. I don't know if you know this, but I'm kind of a big deal kind of big deal did you have?
Speaker 2:you hit the bonus, yet I keep forgetting to check.
Speaker 1:It's probably been three months, I don't even know. You can say last time you asked me to ask you to check. It's probably been three months, I don't even know.
Speaker 2:You can say last week you provided me to ask you to check. I know I forgot until just now I can check.
Speaker 1:I can check now, I can check live. I mean, I'm not going to show everybody, but I can check okay, good, I feel like feel better about that.
Speaker 2:Thank you, but go ahead.
Speaker 2:The other thing, oh, the other thing for wives is calling like, help me write this email, when you know that you have to write it and not get fired, but you don't have the strength to do it because you just want to be a dick. And so the other person has to just like, no, you can't. No, just say this, you can't say that. And then they have to help you write a composed email so you don't get fired. I'm that friend for you. Yes, are I love it. So that's the other losing work wife bonus. Trust your kids with them, trust your apple account information with them. I really, yeah, I enjoy, like, still being able to talk to people who you've clearly enjoy being able to talk to people who you've clearly you enjoy being able to talk to people that you've clearly trauma bonded with, got it okay and only them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's nice that like we still stay in touch and yeah, it's nice to know they like you outside of a shared bad experience like your first hangout with somebody like a work friend outside of work.
Speaker 1:I remember, I think, like Alyssa and I would do a lot of lunches just together where we just kind of had someone on one time and that kind of helped us kind of breed our loving work-wife relationship. But also, I think, the first time we did anything outside of work I could be wrong, I think like she just invited me over for a game night at her place and it was like so chill and so fun and then we did that for a while. We would do game nights like all the time and I haven't done a game night in so long because mental health. But I love hosting game nights, I love going to game nights, I love hosting game nights. Like I want to do that more.
Speaker 1:I need to get my shit together, because I also have friends who are like hey, we never see each other anymore. Like let me know next time you have a game night. And I'm like, yep, I'll let you know. I'll say like later this year that was like three years ago, maybe, well, maybe, maybe well. Maybe it's been later this year for the past three years yeah, for like everything, we'll get to it eventually it's fine.
Speaker 1:2020. Yeah, you're doing great. Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Thank you for being with us, as we talked about a lot of nonsense today, actually, but also just work, besties and trauma bonding. We we are the Burnout Collective. You can find us on the Instagram and the TikToks. Please follow us on Twitch. We're trying to get affiliate. We're getting pretty close, but, yeah, we're here every Saturday at 1 pm Pacific and we just want to be a space for everybody to be open about talking about, like, the shit that we get at work and in life and being burnt out and the struggles that cause that and come along with that, and we also like to laugh a lot and make really dark jokes. Thank you, everyone for being here. See you guys. The burnout collective is hosted by me, jamie Young and me, Rebecca McCracken.
Speaker 2:You can find all our episodes plus show notes at burnoutcollectivecom.
Speaker 1:Follow the Discord link on our website to join the burnout community. You can also find us on TikTok and Instagram.
Speaker 2:If you're interested in being a guest on a future episode or have questions or feedback, you can email us at podcast at burnoutcollectivecom.
